Lights on! Lights off! Lights on! Lights off!

(Below are Nicole's thoughts on Chapter 6 of Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On. Please know that what we all learn from a study is usually different. Therefore we ask, if you feel like it please share in the comments section what you got out of the reading as well. We're sure you'll lift someone's spirit!)

Lights on! Lights off! Lights on! Lights off! That's how I've always felt my spiritual walk with God has been. To no one's fault but my own. Chapter 6 really helped me see this!

Brief recap...

In Chapter 6, Stormie compares our spiritual walks/relationships with God to paying your light bill. She begins by saying "When your light bill arrives, you might be able to come up with at least four reasons for not paying it: 1. "I don't have what it takes." 2. I don't want to." 3. I didn't know I had to." 4. "I forgot." Which one of these do you think the electric company will accept as a legitimate excuse for not paying? You guessed it! None of the above. Which one of these will God accept as a good excuse for not living in obedience to His ways? Right again! None of the above."

I started reading Chapter 6 about a week ago. After reading just the very beginning of this chapter, I started thinking about my own spiritual walk. What am I not doing that God requires for me to do? I could actually name quite a few things. Dare I humble myself to my faults? Sure, I can be honest with you and name a few. I don't spend as much time reading the Bible as I should. I don't call on Him first when I need help...I pick up the phone and call my friend in Greenville. I don't spend quality time praying with thanks to God for everything I do have. Then, I stop and think about my days. On my good days, I turn God's light off. It's there, it's waiting for me. I just don't go to it. I don't go to Him in prayer. I don't read as much as I should. But on my bad days, I'm desperately searching for his light. I need to turn on His light quickly.

Then I read more....Stormie says "Often we find ourselves walking in the dark simply because we are not willing to pay the price for having the light." I thought to myself...well that's simple, I can handle that. I kept reading..."We won't experience the awesomeness of God's power in our lives if we are not willing to meet His conditions for plugging into it." I can't tell you how many times I've told my husband that I just feel like we're not doing what God wants us to do. I feel like there's something on the horizon that He's getting ready to really bless us with but because we haven't "obeyed" it's just waiting for us.

Its' so easy to stray off course in obeying God. I love how Stormie compared it to getting drifted out to sea. How many times has that happened to you? You're at the beach, standing in front of where you placed your towels. You start jumping in the waves and playing. The next thing you know you don't see your towels. You've moved! This happens so often in my life. Just look at what happened this week. I decided I was going to make sure God was shining His light on me full blast. I wanted everything He had to offer me and I wanted to do it His way. I had a plan...every morning I would get up, pour myself a cup of coffee, sit down and read my Bible. Then half way through the day I would read an online devotional. At the end of the day, I would read our current study. Things went great day 1. By day 2, I started drifting. I read my Bible but it was usually in the afternoon when I was waiting in car pool line to pick up my son. By day 3, I dropped my online devotional. Day 4, I went to bed and realized I hadn't even picked up my Bible. But I was tired. (Would the light company take that excuse?) I totally saw what Stormie meant when she said "...our disobedience happens with such subtlety that we're not even aware of it." I needed to get back on track, fast. Every time I thought about not doing it, every time I had a worry creep into my head through out the day, every time I started to pick up the phone to call someone about a problem, I stopped myself, prayed and listened. It's amazing how much light He turned on for me this week. Stormie was so right when she said..."When we obey God, we are protected. When we obey God, we hear his voice. When we obey God, we see answers to our prayers. When we obey God, we can be led by Him." It's amazing how just in the past few days, it just feels right. I feel like I'm going on the path I need to be on. Two weeks ago, I never would have thought I'd say that. We had a pretty rough three weeks here in my home. Broken computers, broken toe, broken foot, my son who has autism was fighting off a virus which caused some regression and aggression, broken air conditioners...the worries just kept piling on. Nothing has changed as far as my son. He's still fighting off a virus. The computer is fixed. The toe is good. The foot is back to normal. We still have lots of "darkness" in our day. I've just been able to find the way to turn the light on and keep it on to help guide me to my path.

Any time a worry comes into my mind, which is quite often, I think about the comparison that Stormie gave about the light bill. Then I take it one step forward. What if I didn't pay the light bill and the lights went out? I may not need the lights during the day. I'd be fine not turning them on. But it's nice knowing they're ready for me. At night, in all the darkness where I couldn't see a thing, I need those lights. I desperately need those lights to guide me, help me see the right path to take and to give me that security that I need. It's at that point I wished I'd paid the light bill and I'd do anything for those lights to come back on. For me, I'm going to stop letting God's light go on and off in my life. I'm going to do all I can to walk the way He needs me to walk.

I love Stormie's Prayer Light so much that I've re-typed it below for you read once again...

"Lord, I thank You that You have given me all the light I need for this day. I want to experience everything You have for me, and I am willing to pay the price of obedience for it. So if there is any area in my life where I am not walking in full obedience to Your ways, show me. If You want me to do something that I am not doing, make me understand and enable me to accomplish it. Don't let me drift away. Pull me out of deep waters and rescue me from all that takes me from You. I lay down my will and surrender to Yours. I turn away from selfish claims to my own life in order to heed Your direction. Take any rebellion in me and expose it with Your truth. 'Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting' (Psalm 139:23-24). Lord, I choose this day to obey You because I know my life works best when I do. In the areas where obedience is hard for me, walk me through step by step. I don't want to do anything that would dim the light You have for my path." -Stormie Omaritian

I encourage you to read that prayer out loud. It's amazing how different it felt after I did that.

A Light for Our Path

(Below are Jessica's thoughts on Chapter 5 of Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On. Please know that what we all learn from a study is usually different. Therefore we ask, if you feel like it please share in the comments section what you got out of the reading as well. We're sure you'll lift someone's spirit.)

Since this is a book about trusting God through the difficult times, the title of Chapter 5, Dancing in the Footlights caught me a bit off guard. It is so easy for me to feel like I’m lagging behind or that my own light is enough. This chapter was a good reminder for me that it doesn’t have to be this way.

Brief recap…

In Chapter 5, Dancing in the Footlights, Stormie gives us the example of footlights in the theater. These lights are on the floor of the stage around the edges. They show the performers where to go and where the stage ends, so they don’t fall into the orchestra pit. God’s word is our footlights, to guide us and keep us from falling into the pit. It is essential that God’s word not just be a part of our routine, but of who we actually are. Stormie gives another great illustration of a miner going down into a dark mine. The light from God’s word is the truth renewed in us that becomes our own personal miner’s light. Once this becomes so deeply engrained into our lives and very being, we no longer trudge along with our heavy burdens, but find reason to dance during our trials.

I have to admit, the first thing that came to mind when I saw ‘footlights’ in the title was a visual of Johnny Cash (Joaquim Phoenix) stomping out the footlights on the stage of the Grand Ole Opry in the movie Walk the Line. As I thought about this more I realized that is pretty much the opposite of what God wants us to do. I got to thinking, how many times have I failed to see the guidance God wanted to give me because I felt I could find my own way?

One of the things I had to come to terms with before God could begin to heal my heart was the ways I had (with very good intentions) looked for light from other sources. My son Matthew, who is four and a half was diagnosed with autism last January. For two years prior to this, we dealt with life-threatening allergic reactions, chronic illness and deteriorating health and well-being. I never stopped praying or believing in God, but my prayers were becoming rooted in fear (mostly of losing my child), not love. I tried to do it all, solely on my own strength. It took a near burnout and a great deal of God’s love to turn this around. I needed to be rooted in God’s love and for my prayers and reflection on God’s word to also inspire that deep love for Him. This is something I often feel the need to consciously re-commit to daily, as the challenges can so easily discourage me and take away my focus. I’m just now learning what it means to cooperate and trust, so that God and I do this together.

Just as a loving parent gives advice and guidance to their children, Stormie reminds us that God’s word in the Bible is more than just an instruction manual. When we continually renew ourselves in God’s word, we develop a deep love for it and hunger for it. On page 49, Stormie writes, “Those of us who immerse ourselves in God’s Word, who press deeper and deeper, know its power. We love His Word like a love letter we read over and over.” The deep love and comfort we feel from being firmly grounded and reassured in God’s word makes the light it gives more meaningful. It leaves us feeling loved and blessed, even in our most difficult times.

Thinking of how the Bible can be considered a love letter, I thought of how I’ve learned to rethink how I hear certain songs. It is really amazing to listen to a beautiful love song from a different angle and think, “Wow, that is how God loves me” or “Now I understand how God wants me to love Him.” One song that has ministered to me, as thought it’s God’s love song to me is “By Your Side” by Tenth Avenue North.

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

Chorus:
And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

(Chorus 2x)

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

Scripture verses:

“The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple.”
-Psalm 119:130.

“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.”
-Psalm 143:8

“But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him”
-1 John 2:5