Lights on! Lights off! Lights on! Lights off! That's how I've always felt my spiritual walk with God has been. To no one's fault but my own. Chapter 6 really helped me see this!
I started reading Chapter 6 about a week ago. After reading just the very beginning of this chapter, I started thinking about my own spiritual walk. What am I not doing that God requires for me to do? I could actually name quite a few things. Dare I humble myself to my faults? Sure, I can be honest with you and name a few. I don't spend as much time reading the Bible as I should. I don't call on Him first when I need help...I pick up the phone and call my friend in Greenville. I don't spend quality time praying with thanks to God for everything I do have. Then, I stop and think about my days. On my good days, I turn God's light off. It's there, it's waiting for me. I just don't go to it. I don't go to Him in prayer. I don't read as much as I should. But on my bad days, I'm desperately searching for his light. I need to turn on His light quickly.
Its' so easy to stray off course in obeying God. I love how Stormie compared it to getting drifted out to sea. How many times has that happened to you? You're at the beach, standing in front of where you placed your towels. You start jumping in the waves and playing. The next thing you know you don't see your towels. You've moved! This happens so often in my life. Just look at what happened this week. I decided I was going to make sure God was shining His light on me full blast. I wanted everything He had to offer me and I wanted to do it His way. I had a plan...every morning I would get up, pour myself a cup of coffee, sit down and read my Bible. Then half way through the day I would read an online devotional. At the end of the day, I would read our current study. Things went great day 1. By day 2, I started drifting. I read my Bible but it was usually in the afternoon when I was waiting in car pool line to pick up my son. By day 3, I dropped my online devotional. Day 4, I went to bed and realized I hadn't even picked up my Bible. But I was tired. (Would the light company take that excuse?) I totally saw what Stormie meant when she said "...our disobedience happens with such subtlety that we're not even aware of it." I needed to get back on track, fast. Every time I thought about not doing it, every time I had a worry creep into my head through out the day, every time I started to pick up the phone to call someone about a problem, I stopped myself, prayed and listened. It's amazing how much light He turned on for me this week. Stormie was so right when she said..."When we obey God, we are protected. When we obey God, we hear his voice. When we obey God, we see answers to our prayers. When we obey God, we can be led by Him." It's amazing how just in the past few days, it just feels right. I feel like I'm going on the path I need to be on. Two weeks ago, I never would have thought I'd say that. We had a pretty rough three weeks here in my home. Broken computers, broken toe, broken foot, my son who has autism was fighting off a virus which caused some regression and aggression, broken air conditioners...the worries just kept piling on. Nothing has changed as far as my son. He's still fighting off a virus. The computer is fixed. The toe is good. The foot is back to normal. We still have lots of "darkness" in our day. I've just been able to find the way to turn the light on and keep it on to help guide me to my path.Any time a worry comes into my mind, which is quite often, I think about the comparison that Stormie gave about the light bill. Then I take it one step forward. What if I didn't pay the light bill and the lights went out? I may not need the lights during the day. I'd be fine not turning them on. But it's nice knowing they're ready for me. At night, in all the darkness where I couldn't see a thing, I need those lights. I desperately need those lights to guide me, help me see the right path to take and to give me that security that I need. It's at that point I wished I'd paid the light bill and I'd do anything for those lights to come back on. For me, I'm going to stop letting God's light go on and off in my life. I'm going to do all I can to walk the way He needs me to walk.
I love Stormie's Prayer Light so much that I've re-typed it below for you read once again..."Lord, I thank You that You have given me all the light I need for this day. I want to experience everything You have for me, and I am willing to pay the price of obedience for it. So if there is any area in my life where I am not walking in full obedience to Your ways, show me. If You want me to do something that I am not doing, make me understand and enable me to accomplish it. Don't let me drift away. Pull me out of deep waters and rescue me from all that takes me from You. I lay down my will and surrender to Yours. I turn away from selfish claims to my own life in order to heed Your direction. Take any rebellion in me and expose it with Your truth. 'Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting' (Psalm 139:23-24). Lord, I choose this day to obey You because I know my life works best when I do. In the areas where obedience is hard for me, walk me through step by step. I don't want to do anything that would dim the light You have for my path." -Stormie Omaritian
I encourage you to read that prayer out loud. It's amazing how different it felt after I did that.