Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Chapter 8: Discipline and the Love Languages

Below are Nicole's thoughts on Chapter 8 of The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell, M.D.  Please know that we all learn from a study is usually different.  We'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter as well.  Please comment below the post.  

Discipline…when we hear that word we think of spankings, yelling, punishment.  This is what most parents (and children) think of when we hear the word discipline.  In Chapter 8, the authors teach us about discipline and it's true meaning.  They show us how discipline and punishment are actually two different things.  I want to encourage you to read this chapter, if you haven't done so already, and learn the difference between discipline and punishment.

Chapter 8 talked about a lot different things about discipline and punishment.  The authors described different methods of disciplining your child as well as different forms of punishment.  However, the one thing that stood out to me the most was the following:

Practice Unconditional love; then discipline.  (p. 115)

After reading those words, I thought to myself how quick I am to discipline and then wondered if my children could still feel my unconditional love.  Both of my children…autism or no autism.  Can they see how much I truly love them and feel this love when I discipline?  That's the point that I feel both authors were trying to get across.  If we keep our children's emotional tank full, the discipline comes across as a learning experience instead of punishment.  On page 114, the authors write…"The father's harsh words and angry tones might be tolerated by a child who felt secure in his father's love; but when the love tank is empty, as in Jason's case, such discipline creates anger and bitterness rather than responsibility."  The authors continue on page 115…"Clearly it is crucial that you love your child unconditionally.  You can do this much more effectively if you know and speak all the love languages.

Are you still speaking all five love languages to your children?  Have you discovered your child's love language and ways you can show them how you love them?  I'd love to hear!  Feel free to comment in the section below this post on your experience so far with any of your children!

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."  -Proverbs 22:6

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