Below are Nicole's thoughts on Chapter 9 of The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell, M.D. Please know that what we all learn from a study may be different. We'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter as well. Please feel free to leave a comment in the section below this post!
Below are the things that the authors talked about in Chapter 9 that impacted me the most:
* True discipline can help to develop a child's intellect and social skills that will serve him for a lifetime. p. 130
* Children discover life through the five senses. A home environment that is rich in stimulation of vision, hearing, touch, taste, and smell will feed their natural desire to discover and learn. p. 131
* Children are more emotional than cognitive; they remember feelings more readily than they do facts. p. 131
* ...emotional development can make a tremendous difference in the child's learning readiness and process, and this is where parents can help the most. We can prime our child's learning pump by continually filling his emotional tank. p. 132
* As you consistently speak the five languages of love-physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, and acts of service-you are giving your child much intellectual stimulation. p. 132
* A question parents often ask is , "How can I motivate my child?" We can motivate only after we have filled our children's love tanks and trained them to mange their anger. p. 137
* If you understand your children's primary love language, you can enhance their daily experiences by speaking their primary love language as they leave for school in the morning and as they return in the afternoon. Those are two important times in the lives of school-age children: To be touched emotionally by their parents on leaving and returning home gives them security and courage to face the challenges of the day. p. 140
Read the last point above again....you can enhance their daily experiences by speaking their primary love language as they leave for school in the morning and as they return in the afternoon. Oh boy did the guilt over power me as I first read this. How many times do I rush my kids in the morning ready to send them off to school so no buses are missed? How many times do I run in the doors for therapies to drop off my son with autism so we aren't late? How often do I scoop them up and rush to the next thing on our list? Immediately after reading this I knew how guilty I was of doing this and I made this a priority of mine. For my child who doesn't have autism, I speak his love language. Our mornings are now smoother with less yelling and craziness. For my son with autism, I try to speak all five of the love languages to him while trying to figure out which one reaches him the best. The funny thing I've noticed about my son with autism is that his love language are sometimes different each day.
The thing I am learning the most from this study is no matter what is going on in the lives of our children the most important thing we can do is speak these love languages to them to help fill up their tank so that when the world around us chips aways at them, they are so full of this love that they do not crack.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Chapter 8: Discipline and the Love Languages
Below are Nicole's thoughts on Chapter 8 of The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell, M.D. Please know that we all learn from a study is usually different. We'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter as well. Please comment below the post.
Discipline…when we hear that word we think of spankings, yelling, punishment. This is what most parents (and children) think of when we hear the word discipline. In Chapter 8, the authors teach us about discipline and it's true meaning. They show us how discipline and punishment are actually two different things. I want to encourage you to read this chapter, if you haven't done so already, and learn the difference between discipline and punishment.
Chapter 8 talked about a lot different things about discipline and punishment. The authors described different methods of disciplining your child as well as different forms of punishment. However, the one thing that stood out to me the most was the following:
Practice Unconditional love; then discipline. (p. 115)
After reading those words, I thought to myself how quick I am to discipline and then wondered if my children could still feel my unconditional love. Both of my children…autism or no autism. Can they see how much I truly love them and feel this love when I discipline? That's the point that I feel both authors were trying to get across. If we keep our children's emotional tank full, the discipline comes across as a learning experience instead of punishment. On page 114, the authors write…"The father's harsh words and angry tones might be tolerated by a child who felt secure in his father's love; but when the love tank is empty, as in Jason's case, such discipline creates anger and bitterness rather than responsibility." The authors continue on page 115…"Clearly it is crucial that you love your child unconditionally. You can do this much more effectively if you know and speak all the love languages.
Are you still speaking all five love languages to your children? Have you discovered your child's love language and ways you can show them how you love them? I'd love to hear! Feel free to comment in the section below this post on your experience so far with any of your children!
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." -Proverbs 22:6
Discipline…when we hear that word we think of spankings, yelling, punishment. This is what most parents (and children) think of when we hear the word discipline. In Chapter 8, the authors teach us about discipline and it's true meaning. They show us how discipline and punishment are actually two different things. I want to encourage you to read this chapter, if you haven't done so already, and learn the difference between discipline and punishment.
Chapter 8 talked about a lot different things about discipline and punishment. The authors described different methods of disciplining your child as well as different forms of punishment. However, the one thing that stood out to me the most was the following:
Practice Unconditional love; then discipline. (p. 115)
After reading those words, I thought to myself how quick I am to discipline and then wondered if my children could still feel my unconditional love. Both of my children…autism or no autism. Can they see how much I truly love them and feel this love when I discipline? That's the point that I feel both authors were trying to get across. If we keep our children's emotional tank full, the discipline comes across as a learning experience instead of punishment. On page 114, the authors write…"The father's harsh words and angry tones might be tolerated by a child who felt secure in his father's love; but when the love tank is empty, as in Jason's case, such discipline creates anger and bitterness rather than responsibility." The authors continue on page 115…"Clearly it is crucial that you love your child unconditionally. You can do this much more effectively if you know and speak all the love languages.
Are you still speaking all five love languages to your children? Have you discovered your child's love language and ways you can show them how you love them? I'd love to hear! Feel free to comment in the section below this post on your experience so far with any of your children!
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." -Proverbs 22:6
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