Friday, January 3, 2014

Love Language #4: Gifts

Below are Nicole's thoughts on Chapter 5 of The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell, M.D.  Please know that what we all learn from a  study is usually different.  We'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter as well.  Please comment blow the post.   We also encourage you to read these chapters.  Reading our posts are not enough.  The authors include a lot of really inspiring stories that explain each gift that much further.  We'd love to hear from you on what you've learned from each reading! 

The fourth love language we learn about is gifts.  Everyone loves to receive gifts.  Christmas time, birthdays, and any kind of surprise present…who doesn't love to receive gifts?  However, this does not mean that we all have the love language of gifts.

Below are the things that impacted me the most with Chapter 4:

*  Giving and receiving gifts as a way to express love is a universal phenomenon.  (p. 73)
*  The grace of giving has little to do with the size and cost of the gift.  It has everything to do with love.  (p. 74)
*  As you give to them with grace, you want them to respond with grace, whether a gift is large or small.  (p. 74)
*  Be careful.  It's often tempting to shower children with gifts as substitutes for the other love languages.  (p. 75)
*  Gifts should be genuine expressions of love.  (p. 77)
*  Except for Christmas and birthdays, many gifts should be chosen by both you and your children.  (p. 77)
*  You may find a special gift as you walk down a winding road or even across a parking lot.  (p. 78)
*  Gifts can also be made out of household items.  (p. 78)
*  Her emotional needs had to be met before she had the capacity to receive or appreciate a gift in the same spirit i which it was given.  (p. 79)
*  Children whose primary love language is the receiving of gifts will make much of receiving the gift.  (p. 79)
*  These children need to have their love tanks kept full-they cannot grow to be their best without it.  Remember, your children may not now realize how much you are giving, even as you continue to fill their emotional tanks.  But as they grow older, they may look back and realize that your love and presence has been the best gift of all.  (p. 81)

What I loved about this chapter is how the authors made sure that we understood that just giving the gifts wasn't enough.  We need to be constantly filling their "emotional tanks" with the other gifts as well to help them appreciate the gifts and truly see our love.  Some times, it is a lot easier to hand our children the iPad with a freshly new purchased app instead of playing on the floor with them so Mommy can get a break.  It's ok to do this.  However, we need to make sure that we aren't constantly doing this and taking away the other love languages that our children so desperately need.  The more we are filling their "emotional tanks" the more love they feel from us and for the child whose love language is gifts…the more they appreciate the gift.

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