Wednesday, June 17, 2009

I am a Dreamer

(Below are Nicole's thoughts on Chapter 11 of Just Enough Light For the Step I'm On. Please know that what we all learn from a study is usually different. Therefore, we ask, if you feel like it, to please share in the comments section what you got out of the reading as well. We're sure you'll lift someone's spirits!)

I've had many dreams throughout my 35 years of life. Most of them dealt with growing up and being an actress, teacher or a writer. I also remember dreaming of getting my first Cabbage Patch Kid. (Remember how hard they were to buy back then?) However, no dream can compare to the dream that I have today. The dream I have in my heart today is so real and I know one day it will come true. I dream of the day my son will be healed of autism. Then, I read Chapter 11, Surrending Your Dreams and realized how I have made this healing that I've been waiting so long for an idol in my life.

Brief re-cap of Chapter 11:
In Surrendering Your Dreams, Stormie Omartian talks about how God wants us to dream but He doesn't want us to exclude Him. Stormie says "if we don't have a vision from Him, then we don't have a vision that will ever be realized." The point that she's making here is that if our dream isn't from God, we will be aiming for a dream that will never come true. The best way to see if our dreams are from God is to surrender them to Him. If He returns them to us, they're from Him. I love how Stormie put it on page 104..."Even if you are certain God has given you a vision or dream for your future, He will still ask you to surrender it to Him so thoroughly that you will think it's as good as dead." She also writes how going after the dreams that aren't from God will only lead to misery, frustration, and unfulfillment.

This dream I have of Sean being healed is one I've had ever since the day they diagnosed him with autism three and a half years ago. In my dream, my son wakes up in the morning, stretches, looks over at me and says "I'm good now Mom. Thanks for not ever giving up on me. Oh and my favorite color is blue. I love to play baseball. And I want to be a Doctor when I grow up." Then he goes over to his brother and plays with him. In my heart, I know this can happen. This past Sunday at church I was reminded of how God is still here. A pastor was talking about the story in Mark 7:31-37 where Jesus healed the deaf and mute boy. I was reminded once again that He is with us today just as much as He was back then. Jesus is still healing. We just have to have faith in Him and give Him our dreams. I believe with one touch from Jesus, He can heal my son who can't talk and play as well as other children just like He did for this boy. I believe that Jesus is with us today and can heal us today just as much as He did when He was on earth. So now I have to surrender this dream to God. My first thought is "what if He doesn't give it back?" Then I think "what if it's not in line with His Will? What if He needs Sean to have autism for the rest of his life?" My heart stops and I pray.

Lord, if this dream is not from You, please take it from me and let me never think of it and long for it again. Give me total peace on this. Amen

You see I believe that Stormie got it right. If it's not in God's Will for my son to be healed, why would I spend the rest of our lives being frustrated, miserable and unfulfilled? I'd rather know that's it's not from Him and find what is from Him so that our lives can be happy, fulfilled and wonderful. Now, to me, that doesn't mean I don't stop helping my son. I'll still research more and more ways to help my son. After all, I do believe that God uses other people and things to show us His dreams and to do His healings. It also doesn't mean if I don't hear back from God on this that I will stop therapy with my son. It's working for him and he's doing great. What it does mean is that I will stop thinking about, as Jessica mentioned in her last post, I will stop thinking about Italy and enjoy Holland. I will try not to stress about my son's future and know that God will put the right thing in my path. If I do start to stress about it, I'll stop and pray and give back to God. I'm going to pray more about what I can do during this time for Him. I know that our God is an awesome God and during this time He will always provide for me everything that I need. I just need to trust in Him and have total faith that He knows what is best for me even if it's not what I think is best for me. He never promised it would be easy but He did promise us so much more!

Lord, thank you so much for the dreams You give us. Please help every one of us see the dreams that You have for us and help us follow these dreams. In Your name we pray, Amen.

Bible Verses:

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about it's own things." Matthew 6:33-34

"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Now to our God and Father be glory forever and ever." Phillipians 4:19-20

"For with God, nothing shall be impossible." Luke 1:37

" 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' " Jeremiah 29:11

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

1 comment:

Jessica said...

Thanks so much for this Nicole. This chapter was a really good reminder for me to surrender my dreams for my children as well. When you feel like a dream is from God and so very close to your heart, then it is easy to forget that you need to place it in His hands. It's also that much harder to let go of. I don't want to tie God's hands by holding onto it too tightly and not allowing Him to do His work. This chapter reminded me of the saying "If you love someone, let them go. If they come back to you, they are yours forever. If they don't come back they were never yours to begin with." (I may have gotten this slightly wrong but you get the point). Thanks for the great post.