What's Right With This Picture?

(Below are Jessica's thoughts on Chapter 8 of Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On. Please know that what we all learn from a study is usually different. Therefore we ask, if you feel like it please share in the comments section what you got out of the reading as well. We're sure you'll lift someone's spirit!)

At first, I found this Chapter 8, Seeing What’s Right With This Picture to be very similar to Chapter 4, Embracing the Moment. Nicole and I emailed back and forth on this and found some important differences to take this to the next level.

Brief recap…

In Chapter 8, Stormie challenges us to look for God’s perspective when things don’t turn out the way we think they should. She gives us some great examples of people in situations that are upsetting and difficult, and then goes on to find what was good in all of them. One example she gives is when her daughter, Mandy had a car accident. Some of the “good” things to come out of the situation were that no one was hurt and that Mandy would become a better, more defensive driver, which could one day save her life. Stormie realizes that looking for the good in Seeing What’s Right With This Picture is very similar to the points she made in Embracing the Moment and she offers this distinction between the two: “Embracing the Moment” is embracing God and finding Him in the moment. “Seeing What’s Right With This Picture”, on the other hand, is searching for the truth and seeing reality from God’s perspective. It’s being willing to let go of our determination to see things through our own tunnel vision. (p.74)

So often, it seems despite all my best efforts, things still go wrong and my plans do not fall into place the way I hope that they will. This chapter was helpful to me as a reminder that God is still helping things come together for my son’s best interests (as well as my own), even when things go wrong. These past two months this has happened several times regarding a gastrointestinal procedure that my son Matthew needed to have. The first time things went wrong was when two days before the appointment for the initial consult, my entire family became sick with the flu (the regular kind!) and there was no way we could make the 3 ½ hour drive. I was so disappointed, and had really looked forward to getting this process started, hoping it would lead to answers and relief for my son. Matthew had several bowel inflammation markers, was in pain and sleeping terribly. So, a few weeks later we had our consultation and scheduled the procedure. A week before the procedure, the doctor’s office called to tell me that they didn’t realize this doctor would be at a medical conference on the day we were scheduled to have the procedure. The procedure was then put off for another three weeks. During this time, Matthew was still in pain, irritable and sleeping terribly. Clearly I had made every effort to help my child. Why were my well-intentioned efforts being thwarted by forces beyond my control?

Reading this chapter made me look back and look for God. First, Matthew and I were prayed over by my prayer group right before each of these obstacles (literally the night before my family got sick and the night before the office called to reschedule the procedure). I had to stop and think that because these events were beyond my control, and came right after we were prayed over, they must mean that God is moving things around for a reason. I like what Stormie wrote on page 76, “This may be a big shock to you-I know it was to me-but often when something unfortunate is happening to us, it’s actually an answer to a prayer we have prayed.”

Looking at it from Stormie’s “Seeing What’s Right” suggestions made me think that maybe there is something that the doctor would learn at the medical conference that would help him while completing the medical procedure. Maybe God knows something I don’t and Matthew would somehow be in a better position to have the procedure at a later date. What really stuck with me was that maybe I’m not supposed to know right now. Maybe I’m supposed to trust God at his word that He’s working things out on Matthew’s behalf. Sometimes we need to stay out of God’s way. Matthew did have his procedure last week and it went unbelievably well. We are still waiting for the final results but felt incredibly blessed at how well he was able to handle the prep, procedure and post-anesthesia wake-up. For whatever reason, it went better than I would have imagined.

Another area in my life where I need to apply these ideas is in the evaluation/eligibility/IEP process that I’ve begun with our public school system. I have a very firm idea of what I think is best for my son, but it will have to be carefully negotiated with an IEP team based on his upcoming evaluation results. Matthew has medical needs that are at the forefront and play into his services/placement prominently. I am trying very hard to follow protocol and provide the key information to the people who need to have it in the most diplomatic way. However, so far one of my key advocates who has offered to help has already let out all of the information to my case manager and I have already been misquoted regarding my wishes for the level of service he will receive in the minutes from our referral meeting. Once again, my best efforts are there, but events beyond my control alter how I think this should go. This chapter reminds me to trust that God knows what he’s doing and be glad that he moves things around in my life. Sometimes it can go to a good end when things go wrong, just as it can when things go right.

When we can look for the truth and are grateful that God is moving in our lives, it can take the "sting" out of some of our disappointment when things don't go the way we've planned. I hope, as Stormie suggests to one day to be able to say "This was the Lord's doing; it is marvelous in our eyes" (Psalm 118:23). Stormie puts this well on page 78, "What we're really talking about here is an issue of trust. It's basically believing that God is good and he desires the best for you."

One verse of scripture that I've been leaning on heavily lately just happened to be in the Footlights of this chapter, and was also forwarded to me recently by two friends:

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”
Romans 8:28

Lord, thank you for uniting all of the mothers that come to this site both in our struggles and our desire to grow in faith and knowledge of You. We all face situations that are beyond our control and don't end up the way we plan. Help us to remember that our lives are in Your hands and will unfold according to Your perfect plan. Open our hearts and minds so that we may see Your hand in the events of our life and to view every situation as an opportunity for blessing. Give us the faith to trust that You know what is best for us and our children. We pray this in your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

Reporting from the Front Lines

(Below are Jessica's thoughts on Chapter 7 of Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On. Please know that what we all learn from a study is usually different. Therefore we ask, if you feel like it please share in the comments section what you got out of the reading as well. We're sure you'll lift someone's spirit!)

When I saw that the title of Chapter 7 was Standing in the Line of Fire, I knew I’d have no difficulty relating to it. There are so many battles and attacks from the outside and within that we all can relate to in our journey with autism.

Brief recap…

In chapter 7, Stormie describes two different scenarios where we can be attacked by enemy fire. First, this can happen if we are in enemy territory (ie: not living God’s way) or we can be doing what is right in our own territory and be targeted for an attack. Stormie gives us the example of the Israelites being delivered from Egypt, witnessing miracles and wonders as God guided them and fought their battle. She also gives us the example of Jehoshaphat, standing firm in faith, inspiring others to believe that God could save them. Stormie reminds us that we must first conquer our enemy with God’s help in the spiritual realm and that we must draw close to Him and stand firm in our belief in his goodness. Because any opposition we face from the enemy has spiritual power behind it, the battle must first be fought in the spirit before victory will be seen in the flesh. (p.67)

I really liked Jehoshaphat’s declaration to the believers, “If disaster comes upon us-sword, judgement, pestilence or famine-we will stand before this temple in your presence…and cry out to You in our affliction and you will hear and save.” (2 Chronicles 20:9) If I were to re-write this declaration in terms of my personal battle with Matthew’s autism, it would go something like this, “If illness comes upon us- regression, inflammation, yeast flare-up, gastrointestinal upset, behavior problems- we will stand firm in your presence…and cry out to You in our affliction and you will hear and save.”

Once the people declared that they were completely dependent on God, He told them “Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God’s” (2 Chronicles 20:15) Thanks be to God that we don’t have to win this battle solely on our own strength, intellect and endurance! I think often about the battles that are waged before us regarding autism: battles to get therapies covered by insurance, battles to uncover and expose the root causes of autism, battles of trying to have your child’s needs met within the confines of a public school system, I could go on and on... As soon as we are drawn into thinking about any of these battles, our first and most crucial line of defense is to go straight to God, and allow him to guide our actions. He will line up and empower the key players, and make divine connections on our behalf so that in following His lead, we may triumph over our adversaries. Stormie writes on page 69, “The hardest part about letting God fight your battle is that He sometimes waits until the eleventh hour so you will have no doubt of where the power is coming from.” Isn’t that the truth! This is crucial for us to understand, so we don’t lose hope or give up before God gives us what we need to stand against our opposition.

Much of the misery of being in battle is thinking that we are alone in it…but you can be sure that the Lord will be with you and help you stand against whatever opposes you. (p.69) It’s okay to feel helpless sometimes, that allows us to realize how much we need God’s help and be in a better position to receive his guidance. When we think of how being in a position to need God poises us to receive greater blessing, it doesn’t feel quite as bad.

“Lord, thank you so much for every mother that has been brought across our path through this site. Bless and empower each and every one of them as they face their numerous opponents and go to battle on behalf of their precious children. Help them to remember that You go before them and are willing and able to bear the brunt of each attack. Draw them to you so that they may rest in their Heavenly Father’s goodness and love and be strengthened in You. It is only with Your help that we can have all we need to triumph in our adversity. May we all take comfort in knowing that You are our advocate, defender and strength. We pray this in your name, Lord. Amen.”